This from the end of a 5 page article at http://adoption.about.com/od/birthfirstmothers/a/diaryofmother.htm
21-Aug-2000
Tomorrow I have another nursery visit. Another resident had her second one today. I've been fighting depression today. I put a picture of you next to my bed. Hopefully I can handle it. I got some more pictures developed. You look great. You're perfect. I thought about having another baby. But I'd feel too guilty about you. You'll always be "the one."
22-Aug-2000
I cried last night with a house parent then almost cried three more times. I had another nursery visit today. My last one's tomorrow. You were irritable today and I couldn't make you happy. I felt helpless. Another girl decided to keep her baby after giving birth this morning. She has nothing but I can't judge her. I should have stressed to her the importance of not being alone with the baby. I made myself sore from crying and straining my incision. A birth mom who placed six years ago is supposed to call me and I'm going to the support group next week
24-Aug-2000
I placed you today. It was the hardest thing I've ever done or will do, I think. Last night another resident and I cried together. Her placement was after mine on the same day. I'm spending the night at my best friend's to get away. I can't stop thinking about you. I wonder what you're doing right now.
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